- Oh you have a question now?
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a bABY
you missed the part where he found a stray dog and took it home
How dare you leave the next page out
From Amazing Spider-man (2015) #25
(via bitch-tales)
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Let’s all take a moment and thank biology that our internal organs don’t itch.
Fun fact: digestion is actually really painful but your brain just tells you it’s fine the same way it tells you not to bite off your fingure even though you can
that’s… frustrating
Hey quick question why the FUCK doesn’t it do that for menstrual cramps
(via bitch-tales)
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420 years ago, on 4/20, the moon was made of weed.
This is the only day you can reblog this. Do it for Weed Moon.
This post, despite being funny for exactly 1 (one) day, has been reblogged heavily over the past year for whatever reason, and I’m going to appreciate the few days before it completely blows up again. God help us all.
(via bitch-tales)
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Credit: @ThinkAnneThink
(via walloruss)
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On the 50th Anniversary of Scooby-Doo let us celebrate the musical group of goddesses known as the Hex Girls (x)
(via mulxer)
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How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears
The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids
and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortniteA kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.
The hero we deserve
When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too
i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”
I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.
The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.
god I love tiny kids
there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.
I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”
I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it
kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”
I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.
One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man
When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”
You had me at “Does your insurance cover that?”
Instead of a short Bible verse (like five words) my brother at like age 3 recited the entire doctor who “don’t blink” speech on Sunday school
at a camp as a councilor a tiny boy told me that jigglypuff was the most powerful pokemon bc she could put everyone else to sleep with just her voice and he would fight anyone who said otherwise
My colleague was making fruit preserves so she went to the supermarket with her kid and bought only one lemon and a bottle of vodka because she had the other ingredients at home. At the register her son waited until the girl behind the register had rung up the bottle of vodka, then he wailed “But… Mom… you promised to stop!”
My colleague still refuses to return to that supermarket.
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I have never laughed so hard in my fucking life.
i cant breath
(via only1600kids)
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“i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat”
“i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work”
“no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy”
“i can’t-”
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why is this a screenshot
The original post will kill if you look at it directly
If i have to die to find out why they can’t be together than so be it
(via mulxer)
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dave
(via only1600kids)
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“youre gay? you dont look gay”
well shit wtf does a gay look like
oh
(via mulxer)
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disease-danger-darkness-silence:
guu:
what the fuck
i’m just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like
i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair!
it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.
but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want.
so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.
he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut.
i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.
tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of what’s on THEIR body! /rant
Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies.
This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you can’t get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years.
but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.
Leave kids hair alone.
I’m going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their children’s hair creep me the fuck out and I’m not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, “annoying talking doll” status.
I loved my daughter’s long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut short ‘like a boy’(she was four) I took her to the salon and let her whack it off.
The stylist was skeptical, ‘are you sure?” and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girl ‘are you sure you want it cut short?’ She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And it’s been short ever since.)
Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred
Changing hairstyle/length/color is the simplest thing your child can choose for themselves, to change their appearance
Because surprise - it will grow back as it was before!
Like, if it’s the problem of budget, that’s another dilemma, but let kids choose how to present themselves
(via mulxer)
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what she says: i’m fine
what she means: it’s 2 am and I can’t stop thinking about the Pied Piper. Initially i thought it was just an old faerie tale but i’ve been reading up on it and it turns out that at some point in the town of Hamelin, a bunch of children really did go missing all at once in fact a stained glass window in the local church in 1300 was made to tell the story AND Hamelin’s written history literally BEGINS in 1384 with the sentence “it is 100 years since our children left.” There are a ton of theories about what the piper could actually represent but historians are pretty much convinced that something did take away children en masse in the 1200s in Hamelin and to this day we still use the phrase “it’s time to pay the piper.” When will we pay him? Who was he???? Like okay I see the theories but what if some flute paying faerie really just led a bunch of kids away in 1284 I cannot get over this.
Alexandra Marie
I'm just here for shits and giggs.
